According to the OB, I’m carrying REALLY low, which may explain why I’m so uncomfortable lately. Instead of moving out into the open where there’s a little more room (and where our little long-legged starfish would make me actually LOOK pregnant), she’s snuggled in to my pelvis. I seem to have a history of carrying stubborn little girls. I hope she decides she’d be more comfortable a little higher up really soon!
But, after tracking the wiggly girl down, she had a nice 155bpm heartbeat, so all is good. Still wish I could get a peek at her.
We’re testing me on a slightly lower dose of metformin, down to 1000/day from 1500/day. My blood sugar values have been really good, although my fasting levels are just a tad higher than one would hope, which means I’ll probably have to be on something for the entire pregnancy. I’m just hoping moving back to the non-extended release metformin doesn’t bring back all the issues that sent me over to the ER formula in the first place.
I keep a dry erase calendar in the bathroom. It’s the one place I can guarantee that both of us will see it. Each month, I fill out the dates and put in all the stuff we have scheduled…stepson stuff, Shannon’s on-call schedule, birthdays, whatever. Then, I add in stuff like doctor’s appointments as they get scheduled. Each Sunday, I write in which week of pregnancy we’re starting. I don’t write the count in advance anymore. I’ve had to erase too many weeks-that-weren’t in the past. I can’t help but notice that before we get through this month, I’ll write in week 21 and 22. That puts us right in the time frame when the world turned upside down before. I’m trying not to focus on it, but it’s there, just on the edge of my peripheral vision like a big, hairy monster in the closet. I know things are different this go ’round. No twins. No surgery. No infections. Weekly doctor’s appointments and an MFM who is taking this pregnancy as his own personal challenge. A cervix that grew 3 millimeters in less than a week. The luxury of being able to stay off my feet all day if I feel like it. I know this. WE know this. Still, those blank Sundays where I haven’t written 21 and 22 yet, and the Sundays that don’t even show up on the calendar yet…23, 24, 25, 26…they’re there. Waiting. I think we’ll breath easy again once we get to Week 26. That would feel like cresting the mountain and looking at the gently sloping downhill trail. It just feels like a rough uphill climb, gasping for breath, just focusing on putting one foot in front of the other until then.