Tomorrow is my sonogram to check my lining. If all looks good tomorrow, we’ll be doing the transfer Monday or Tuesday. Finally! It seems like this has been dragging on forever. Cross fingers, please.
I’m having a rough time these days. I’m trying very hard NOT to think about where we were this time last year. All that seems to accomplish is me either being awake all night, or waking up at 3am as my brain goes through all of the details of last November, December, and January. Conscious me can supress the thoughts. Relaxing-trying-to-sleep me isn’t as good at it. Add in the stress of not working and you’ve got one seriously tense woman. Thanksgiving 2007 was wonderful. I’d just had my gall bladder out in a nerve-wracking but successful surgery and was feeling great, for the first time in the whole pregnancy. Aside from a terrible reaction to the adhesive on the bandages, I was hungry, not nauseous, and energetic. We flew home for the holiday and I had my baby shower. That’s where I was one year ago. Just around the corner are some very dark anniversaries. I can’t believe it’s been an entire year. How did it go so slowly and so fast all at the same time? I’m dreading the week of holiday next month. If it weren’t for the kid, I’d leave the “tree” in its box, I’d stay far away from the mall, and I’d spend the week in my pjs. Last year, I couldn’t do much celebrating and this year, I don’t want to. Our goal is to have the house on the market by January. So, I think while everyone else is lighting their tree, wrapping presents, and cooking big fancy meals, I’m going to spend my time spackling nail holes, packing up photos and personal doodads, and regrouting the bathtub. I replaced a toilet last February to give my mind the distraction it needed. This winter, I have an entire house full of distractions. I just hope it is enough.