Yesterday’s estradiol level was a nice 57 and I’m definitely not pregnant. (Gotta love blind adherence to protocol no matter what.)
Took the first 100iu shot last night. Not one of my finer moments. I could have waited another hour for S to get home. I know he would have given it to me if I’d asked, but I feel compelled to try to do this myself. I sat there for ten minutes, pinching up a fold of skin, grasping the pen in my right hand, trying to psych myself up to just stab it in. No dice. I can’t do fast, that creeps me out, so I go nice and S L O W, which hurts. Yeah, way to go. I ended up berating myself for being such a wimp (I used much less polite terms, by the way. Remember, I’m a Deadwood fan and have expanded my vocabulary quite a bit) and generally feeling stupid. I actually have a really high tolerance for pain and subjected myself to quite a bit of it while digging that stupid shard of metal out of my finger with no problem. So why is it that this injection gives me the backbone of a bowl of jello? Tonight, I’m going to try it in my inner thigh. I won’t be contorting myself to see over my boobs if I do it there and I’m thinking I might be better able to just jab. That’s the theory anyway. We’ll see how it goes in practice.
I’m also having one of those “Don’t think of a pink elephant” moments. This cycle is our last shot until April 2007. I have just over $200 left in my flex spending account for this year and that won’t quite cover the next two weeks of co-pays. Once that’s gone, that’s it. Our insurance year runs April to March, so the account doesn’t start over until spring. My plan, if this month doesn’t work, is to really throw myself into getting into shape over the following 9 months. Try to lose some of this pcos weight, give the metformin a metabolic boost, and see if maybe, just maybe, a miracle would happen. It’s a valid plan, and I will see it through if I don’t get pregnant this time. So, what about the pink elephant? I’m trying desperately NOT to think of this August cycle as “the last chance.” I don’t need that stress and it isn’t like we’d be giving up on it forever, just a few months. I certainly am not going to allow us to go into debt over this (even if S were willing, which he isn’t) and I know it’s the right decision, but I can’t stop thinking about it. My brain doesn’t follow directions very well.
Good on you for self-administering the shot! Independance day. 😉
Insurance issues, ugh.