“There is no real ending. It’s just the place where you stop the story.”
― Frank Herbert
It is time, isn’t it. It feels right. Sad, but right. This space has served it’s purpose. Now it can be like my copy of
- Jane Eyre
sitting on the shelf, held together with a rubber band, the hardcover spine long-gone, more pages dog-eared than not but always there if I need to pull it off and devour it all over again. Infertility is still a part of our lives, but since I’ve been told that getting pregnant would be a VERY bad idea and, while we still have tot-sicles it is unlikely we will have the financial or emotional means to tackle a gestational surrogacy, infertility has become a footnote to my health. The Twins will always be with us. I will ALWAYS be in mourning and I still think of them every single day, but I’m not so much lost in the Woods and I am just wandering across a neverending plain. I can see others in the distance and sometimes even run into someone to talk to and I can feel the sun on my face and there is a nice breeze and even a few flowers. It isn’t so scary and dark and deep. No one ever wrote a horror story about being lost on a plain. I can live here. So it’s time to let this space become a fixed point and a reference instead of a living document.
We have a new adventure now. S and I have been given this amazing opportunity to shepherd Olivia Moonpie through life and it is QUITE an experience! And, it is a responsibility we take very seriously. We have documented the past three years with thousands of photos and videos and voice recordings because the smartphone is always close at hand and sometimes, that’s all the brain power and energy we have. I’m ready, now, to start documenting and remembering and recording a little differently. I’ve missed the words.
Thank you for being a part of this endeavor. When I started this blog so many years ago, I had no idea where it would take me and I never imagined that so many of you would be a part of it. I wish it hadn’t fallen victim to my inability to do anything extra-curricular the past three years, but if I have learned one single lesson over the past seven years, it is that life is what it is and you can sit and bitch about it or accept it, deal with it, and move on. Spilled milk, y’know? Those of you who are still reading here, and those of you who used to and may someday check back and find this like a message in a bottle on the beach…thank you. You kept us going through some very dark days. We don’t forget.
So, please, join us at A Good Mother and help us as we guide Olivia Moonpie through the next few years and hopefully teaching her to be a compassionate, funny, curious, self-assured humanist in a world that doesn’t always seem to value those characteristics. A good mother…it isn’t what I claim to be, it’s what I’m trying to become.