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Zoë’s Day

She was exactly 21 days old, four years ago today.

Had she been born on THIS day four years ago, she would probably still be here.

Sweet Zoë Harper.

Your little sister doesn’t quite understand why I keep scooping her up for hugs and burying my face in her neck today. She’s humoring me with lots of drooly “mwahs” and she didn’t mind sitting in the rocking chair for an hour while I smelled the almond soap in her hair. We looked at the photo of your name in the sand that hangs on her bedroom wall. We played on the playground and had snack. We did all the things you and I never got to do.

Even though you aren’t here, you are always with us.

We miss you.

Lennox Maximilian

Four years ago today we sat in that room and held you for the first and last time.  We looked at your tiny fingers and stroked your dark hair.  We never saw you open your eyes.  You slipped into and out of our lives without ever making a sound.

We only had three short days with you and I can’t tell you how much I regret not being able to spend more of that time with you.

I think of you every day.  I miss you sweet boy.  You will never know how much difference your short little life made in this world.

Fourth Birthday

Tomorrow should be your fourth birthday.

There should be
Two cakes.
Four candles on each.
Presents.
Hats.
Songs.
Balloons.

Who would we describe as “the quiet one”? Would Lennox be a wild and crazy little boy? Would Zoë be a girly girl or a tomboy or somewhere in between? Which one would people say, “You look just like your mama” to?

Happy birthday sweet babies. Your mama and your daddy miss you so very much.

Growth spurt

I swear, this child outgrew her diapers overnight. We use cloth diapers, which I love, but it’s a big expense all up front when we have to buy new ones, so I’ve been clinging to these diapers for a veeeeery long time. They still snap around her chubby little legs and her Buddha belly, but the rise is so short and, well, they just don’t have the amount of absorbancy she needs.

I guess it’s a good thing she’s at that age where a box with shiny paper is just as much fun as what is inside because I think Santa is going to bring Moonpie a lot of diapers and not as many toys next month. I wonder if I can find a big fort-sized box to wrap them in to make up for it.

Can I just mention how odd it feels to have someone at the playground ask how old she is (17 months or almost 15 months adjusted but I don’t usually make that conversion anymore), then comment on how big she is for her age? All I can think about is holding that tiny, tiny preemie in the palm of my hand. But she’s been off the preemie charts since her 6 month checkup and at her 15 month check, she was in the 75th percentile for height and 25th for weight. Long and skinny. That’s our girl!

In the spirit of full disclosure, I have an entry in the “We’re awful parents” category. So, two weeks ago Miss Moonpie puked all over her daddy as he was rocking her to sleep. Then, she puked all over me at breakfast the next morning and she had some, um, lower GI distress as well for about 24 hours. No fever. No appetite. I called and talked to the Ped’s nurse who told me there was a stomach virus going around with those exact symptoms and to follow the usual course; keep her hydrated, offer bland food. So we did. She drank plenty, wouldn’t eat, fussed and fussed, but no more vomiting and the poops returned to a more normal state. After four days of eating the equivalent of one meal a day, we took her in to the doctor who suggested some probiotics and offering nothing but water to make sure she wasn’t filling up on her single cup of really diluted juice. He thought her tummy might still be feeling a bit iffy and wanted us to give it one more day. That night, she ate like an athlete carb-loading for an olympic event. I couldn’t get enough food in her. I joked that she had just missed her doctor and the not eating was an attempt to get us to take her for a visit. So, everything returned to normal. A few days later, I happened to get a good look in her mouth (Miss Moonpie is VERY stubborn about opening wide for anyone to take a peek and bites if you stick a finger in there. It only took a couple good chomps for me to decide not to do THAT again!). Imagine how surprised I was to see TWO molars. First of all, I had assumed the teeth came in in order, so I was expecting canines next and had been watching for those. So, my poor baby cut two molars at the same time without the benefit of any pain killers because everyone, including the pediatrician who looked in her mouth, assumed she had a tummy bug because it had the same symptoms as a bad stretch of teething. I’m just glad there weren’t any medications given for a virus she didn’t have. Sigh. Now we are awaiting the top two molars and every bout of fussiness sends us running for the pain killers and a teething cookie.

We also have entered the stage of night terrors. Nothing too bad, she sits up in bed crying like a banshee and is impossible to console for about 15 minutes, then goes right back to sleep. However, Mom and Dad find it a bit more disruptive if they have already fallen asleep. For a few nights, we woke her up after about 90 minutes to change her to her overnight diaper in the hopes of “resetting” her sleep cycle. It seems to have worked so far. The past two nights she’s gone to sleep and stayed asleep all night. I think it may have been a combination of the clock change, which really messed with her, teething, and this growth spurt she’s in (all of a sudden she’s started babbling LOTS, I think it won’t be long before she’s really talking). I am a little worried though. I was a big sleep walker as a child and sometimes still go for a stroll in my sleep. I hope she didn’t get that from me, since sleep walking and talking is a component of this category of sleep event. I know it scared my mother when I did it, especially that night I walked out the front door and into the yard. To throw my two cents in for anyone else dealing with night terrors, which occur roughly an hour after falling asleep instead of later at night like nightmares, partially waking the baby up seems to really work. We turn on a dim light in her room, roll her over in her crib, unzip the sleep sack, take off her pj pants and change her diaper, then redress her and let her roll back over. She wakes up a tiny bit, but not all the way and goes back to sleep quickly. That little interruption seems to let her move on into the next phase of sleep without the screaming. And, because we control the timing, our sleep is much better!

Six years?

First of all, thanks to Mel and her magnificent Lost and Found for reminding me! I find myself a bit scatterbrained these days.

Wow. Six years. It seems like such a long time ago when I created the original account on blogger. I had no idea what I was doing. I didn’t think anyone would read this other than my mom and my sister-in-law. I thought we’d be moving on to the baby raising part a whole lot sooner. I certainly never imagined we’d learn the things we learned, travel the paths we traveled, meet the friends we made.

Six years ago, I was closer to 30 than 40.

I feel like we lived a lifetime in the past six years.

Then, I look forward. Where will we be in six years? We’ll have a little girl in grade school.

Six years from now, I’ll be closer to 50 than 40. We will have been together for 18 years.

Thank you for walking along with us.

Dump Truck Cheerios

They taste best when eaten out of a blue dump truck, but I really wish my mama would let me play with the camera!

The sweetest

Is there anything sweeter than having a toddler share her very stale dump-truck cheerios* with you?

Oh, did you think we’d vanished into the ether? Nope. We’ve just had a stupidly rough couple of months here at Chez Our Own Creation. I had to have some surgery that will hopefully keep me from having to have any more surgeries and wasn’t allowed to lift ANYTHING for six weeks. Then, just as I was starting to reach the end of my recovery, Little Bitty Kitty Lucy swallowed a piece of thread that happened to still be attached to a sewing needle and needed emergency surgery and a ten-day recover. THEN, just as Lucy was approaching the end of her forced confinement and even more forced medication, Sweet Olivia Moonpie got her first tummy bug and has spent the past week refusing to eat. That’s the short-version. I’ll try to be a little more detailed later. There are some posts brewing, I promise!

*Olivia Moonpie likes to start her morning with a sippy cup of milk and a handful of dry cheerios which must be served in her blue dump truck. We’ve started to refer to them as dump truck cheerios. The cheerios are then allowed to sit throughout the day and age to a perfect level of stale-ness. She’s just reached that point of “Here, you want some too!” and we want to encourage sharing. It’s really very sweet with the I-eat-one-you-eat-one approach.

That’s my Nerdlet!

Yes, she really is doing her best to imitate the car engine. She stops when I’m at stop lights and starts up as soon as the light turns green and the car moves. She also imitates the vacuum cleaner and the garbage disposal. Funny, they all sound about the same. ;)

I love this kid!

Forgot to mark my calendar

Why didn’t any of you remind me that today was Picky Eater Thursday?

At least the cats are eating well and the kitchen floor is getting a good cleaning.

Lucky Me

There is absolutely nothing facetious about the post title. I am constantly aware of just how lucky I am when it comes to Miss Olivia Moonpie.

For example: This morning she woke up waaaay early. For about 45 minutes, she would fuss a bit then drift back to sleep in her crib so we left her alone but at 7am, she started hollering for her Daddy. We hoped to get her back to sleep in our bed but 7am is close enough to 8am that she wasn’t falling for it. After half a glass of milk, a few bites of banana and a couple of cheerios Miss Moonpie decided she’d had enough breakfast and nothing else was going to pass her lips. Not only that, but apparently she no longer felt the need to wear shirts and managed to get all tangled up in her pajama top and high chair straps trying to get out of the one she had on.

Because I needed to renew my driver’s license and because my current photo is over 10 years old, I HAD to go to the Dept. of Public Safety office in person so instead of being able to play and cuddle and tempt someone’s tummy with bits of waffle or some other delicacy, I was rushing around trying to look presentable (instead of my usual Mommy uniform of whatever t-shirt is clean and more-brushed-than-not ponytail), pack lunch and snack (because who knows how long this will take) and prepare a diaper bag with plenty of toys all while tempting her with a piece of bread and peanut butter here, a cube of cheese there, a sip of milk. This meant Olivia Moonpie was trailing me back and forth between the two gates, sobbing and moaning every time I passed through to the magical realms that lie beyond her reach.

By 9:30, we were in the car and on our way. By 9:56, I had my number and gave some young guy the evil eye until he gave up his chair (I’m not proud of it and I try not to abuse that power). There were 50 chairs in there, all full, and all of the walls, even down the hallway to the restrooms were lined with people waiting. I’d guess about 110 people all told in a room with too little air conditioning.

Here’s the lucky me part. Yes, Olivia Moonpie got cranky. I’m pretty sure she’s working on teeth 8 and 9 and possibly 10. She was tired. She was hungry. She didn’t get to play this morning and I’d strapped her in a car seat and a stroller. She fussed a bit from time to time, but for the majority of the two hours we were sitting there waiting for our number to be called she smiled and waved at people. She played with her toys and only threw them on the floor a couple of times. She ate her zucchini muffin and her carrot slices with a giggle. She drank her ice water. She watched that most bizarre of shows, “Yo Gabba Gabba” on my phone. She let me hold her for a few minutes at a time and only really struggled to get down when she realized she was falling asleep. She let me change her diaper in her stroller since the Texas DPS apparently decided changing tables are an unnecessary luxury even though I counted 10 children in diapers while we were there. And this isn’t the first time this week that she’s had to spend far longer than I like going from high chair to car seat to stroller to car seat without being able to get down and play (some places, I’ll let her play on the floor but NOT the DPS field office!!). She did the same thing two days ago when I had to go to the grocery store and the doctor in the same day, and last week when some other series of errands took over our day.

Like The Dude, Miss Moonpie abides. I’m sure I’ll pay for it this afternoon. She fell asleep as soon as I put her in the car which means she’s now sleeping through lunch. She’ll wake up around 2, which is her normal afternoon nap time and she’ll get sleepy around 4:30 but will refuse to sleep no matter what, which means she’ll be rather um, fiesty tonight. But when it counts most, she doesn’t scream and throw tantrums. She doesn’t arch her back and kick her feet and throw her sippy cup across the room. She smiles and flirts and plays peek-a-boo with strangers. She rolls with it as best as her little one year old mind and body can and I can’t ask for anything else. Lucky me! I don’t know what I did to deserve this sweet little girl, but I’m so glad I have her!

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